Rites of Passage #2
Creative Pursuit
This is part of my series on Rites of Passage for men. I have highlighted 6 passages in life that can have a transformative impact for men. Last week I shared the first one; Physical Pursuit.
These are simply my observations and experiences, not sacraments. All are optional yet I believe all give us the opportunity for change.
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#2: Creative Pursuit
More and more men want to start businesses. Or, start Instagram pages documenting their fitness journey. Or, write a book, or start a blog. I think this is less about the potential financial reward and more about the passage of taking something from an idea to reality. There’s a journey in doing that in which you have to grow as a person. You have to be brave and put yourself out there. You also have to commit to something, you have to learn something. You have to take an act of leadership; saying you’ll do something, and doing it.
I’ve witnessed many young men start nervously sharing their story, writing or putting their ideas out in the world. Some, refrain at the first sight of judgement from friends or family. Others, feel the fear and do it anyway. They follow some intent, intuition or feeling that they simply must pursue this creative inspiration. Those who turn their back on this invitation harbour the frustration of unexpressed potential. Those who answer the call pull on a rope that takes them deeper into open water, and they learn to swim.
I’ve seen it in fitness instagram accounts that go under the radar, only for you to find them because instagram suggests them to you. You then message your mate with a screenshot; “is this you?” I’ve seen it in business ideas that get spoken about in the smoking area after a few beers. I’ve seen many men take their ideas out into the world and grow alongside whatever creative pursuit they’ve chosen. I’ve seen many refuse this opportunity for growth because they lack the conviction, confidence, accountability and support.
Creative pursuits offered me my first opportunities to evolve. I reached for them at an early age. I dropped out of university to start a business at 20. Unfortunately that initial pursuit was hollow and full of ego. Afterwards I felt compelled to write openly about mental health. I followed my gut and did it, despite being afraid. This creative outburst led me down the most transformative period of my life as I ended up starting a business in the mental health space. My initial forays into creative pursuit were sometimes brazen and public (often where I was led by fear), or they were anonymous and secretive (when my heart was really singing). When I did end up writing publicly about my mental health, it was only after years of blogging anonymously under a pseudonym.
Not all creative pursuits need to result in you starting a business that “easily makes you 10k a month” - most of the social media noise on this is just selling you a course. Yet I do believe following a creative pursuit is a brilliant rite of passage for men that anyone can start.
In a way, the beauty of the creative pursuit, much like the physical one - is that there are really no excuses. This opportunity for your growth is there. If you want to write a book, there is very little stopping you. If you want to make videos, or websites, sell things or paint - there is nothing stopping you. You have the tools. If you are honest with yourself, you have the time. You might not have the belief, but you can find that in this pursuit.
Even just starting. Doing something once can be a source of growth and change. Of course, you want to complete it, but even beginning can set the wheels of change in motion. Opening the blank page for the first time. Buying a domain name. Sending a message. It’s new. It’s exciting. It’s growth.
Here is why a creative pursuit can help you grow
Finding something you are passionate about. Ultimately you’ll want to pursue something you enjoy. Something that you actually want to do and spend time on. Finding this is a great output for your whole life.
Learning. You’ll likely learn new skills and do something you’ve never done before. I remember the liberation of creating a website for the first time, thinking “what I can actually make what I want?”
You’ll have to go public. You’ll have to share something somewhere with the world. You’ll face all the feelings that go with this.
Your mates will take the p*ss. If it’s not your mates, someone will. You’ll find your own troll somewhere in your life and you’ll have to stare their looks of doubt in the eyes and prove them wrong.
You’ll face the fear of rejection and failure. You can’t create anything without the risk of failure and rejection. Both are a hill to climb and you’ll have to navigate and conquer them both.
You’ll feel pride. It could be the pride of finishing and being recognised. It could be the curse of pride stopping you from moving on and admitting it hasn’t worked or you’ve had enough. Really, more than anything - you’ll have to face yourself.
I don’t know if the opportunity for a creative pursuit presents itself to everyone. Some men just don’t want want to grow in this way, or in that direction. They’re “just not creative”. I totally disagree, everyone is a creator in their life. But I respect the decision not to go on a creative adventure.
I believe for more and more men a creative pursuit is becoming an option and a path. In a world where creative acts are no longer reserved for the wealthy elite - we can all be creators. Anyone with a microphone and an internet connection can try their hand at being a philosopher. I’d like to see more men take up these opportunities. But importantly, see the creative pursuit not as an end-point, but as a rite of passage itself. Just like the marathon, if you only do it for the medal and the instagram post saying “you did it” - you’ll miss all the learning in the training.
In coming articles I’ll share more about the other rites of passage that I believe are available to us.
Cheers,
James
Next Week: Rites of Passage #3 - Ownership