The forgotten art of doing nothing.
Make Boredom Great Again.
I’ve just got back from 2.5 weeks away in Malaysia.
Now here would be the part where I talk about how well I switched off, how I threw my phone in the sea and did nothing other than meditate to the blissful sound of the lapping waves.
I’ll pop that balloon straight away and say that categorically did not happen.
It’s been a manic first half of the year for me, launching the book in January and then every week has been some sort of combination of talking about it, promoting it, doing something on Instagram, checking notifications, checking book sales, checking book sales again - and then repeat.
When it came to then going away, I could feel the pull of my phone. I’d been so hard wired to using it for 6 months that my body was craving the sweet embrace of my iPhone 15 every day 😂
That being said, I wasn’t awful with it. There were plenty of periods where I locked it away in the room and enjoyed my time without it.
I’m also very good at having long periods of sitting there doing absolutely nothing. And I mean nothing other than staring out the window or off into the horizon with nothing but my own thoughts to keep me company.
We had a 4-hour bus ride one day, and I spent 45 minutes watching a Netflix show, and then the other 3hr 15mins I just stared out the window.
My girlfriend enjoyed making jokes about me “rawdogging” it, a phrase which sounds highly suspicious but in this context is to make your way through mundane activities or journeys with no comforts or distractions.
I share all this for a reason. Somewhere in all the hustle and bustle and craziness of modern-day busy grind culture, we’ve forgotten how to simply do nothing. Us “doing nothing” and staring out the window has become a viral trend and a joke, rather than something we actively encourage.
And our phones and technological devices are there, lurking in our bags, ready to snap our attention and dopamine away at a moment’s notice. I had to physically lock my phone away in the room when I didn’t want it, such was its temptations had I brought it out in my bag with me. How has it come to this?
I write about the art of doing nothing here in JACK for a reason, as this is a highly relevant conversation for masculinity specifically.
Generally speaking, many men aren’t great at doing “nothing”. I think a lot of men think they’re better at doing nothing than they actually are, but that’s because their definition of it isn’t quite right. Listening to a podcast while on the commute or having music on while going for a walk isn’t doing nothing, it’s quite the opposite. It’s still taking us away from sitting with ourselves, our thoughts, and our emotions.
I spoke to a guy who said he walked between lectures at Uni holding his laptop open with headphones plugged in so he could listen to music and not be “bored” on the walk.
This isn’t meant as a criticism, and we shouldn’t be expected to stoically make our way through the entirety of life. But many men have a deep, innate fear of doing nothing.
Boredom terrifies them. It terrifies them because they don’t know what to do with it, and they don’t know how to confront the thoughts and emotions that start surfacing. More than that, they think that doing nothing isn’t manly enough. Men have been taught to be the leaders, the breadwinners, to always be busy. A busy calendar is celebrated, because it makes us feel wanted and important.
The trouble is, as human beings, we haven’t developed sufficiently to cope with modern-day life. We aren’t meant to have access to all these tools and technologies and information at the click of a button.
We’re built for a slower pace of life, where dopamine rewards are hard earned, and where we take time to be present in the moment, to process the things that are going on for us.
We’re not meant to have endless distractions.
I am absolutely not perfect. Working for myself at home means that distractions (and lost time) is only ever a moment away. I have to be very disciplined.
But I know when I’ve had a full day on my laptop, jumping between emails, scrolling Instagram, getting that podcast and Netflix show in, replying to WhatsApps, no breaks in between, wow does my brain feel frazzled at the end. It’s crying out for some stillness and nothingness.
There’s a whole bunch of things involved in the conversation around masculinity.
But one of those things, maybe one of the most important, is the art of doing nothing. We need to help more men, and humans in general, embrace boredom. Embrace sitting with themselves and their thoughts. It’s in that silence where the things we need to pay attention to shout the loudest.
Whacking on the latest Diary of a CEO podcast might feel like “doing the work” because we’re learning, but there’s just as much to learn in doing nothing too.
Would love to hear what your routine is like, or what you think of this concept? Does it sound alien to you? Let me know in the comments.
George x
Love this. I suppose going to a sauna/cold plunge is technically doing something but have been doing that more recently to step away from there always being something else to do. That brief moment of calm, sitting silently is so blissful!
Love this. I suppose going to a sauna/cold plunge is technically doing something but have been doing that more recently to step away from there always being something else to do. That brief moment of calm, sitting silently is so blissful!