GOOD NEWS FOR MEN

"Two weeks isn't enough" More men's therapists. Is mentoring more important than therapy for men?

Welcome to GOOD NEWS FOR MEN, by JACK. I’m James Routledge and JACK is a platform to evolve the conversation around men and masculinity.

There are millions of good men out there. There are lots of bad eggs too. They’ve been getting the headlines. The perception of men is dominated by predators, villians, tyrants, misogynists, racists and clickbait social media influencers.

In reality - these men are the minority. The majority of men are good, and trying to be better with little guidance. JACK is the place to celebrate, inspire and guide men.

Every week you’ll receive a round up of all the good news I’m coming across when it comes to men. The people I’m meeting and the themes that are arising. I believe that by raising 1,000 good men - we’ll positively impact 1,000,000 men and boys.

If you have stories, photos, links, books, ideas - respond to this email with them and I’ll curate the best stuff.

Cheers,
James

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GOOD NEWS FOR MEN 💪🏼

• “Two weeks isn’t enough” The campaign for proper paternity leave continues. The UK has the worst paternity leave in Europe, Dads get less than two weeks off at half of the minimum wage. This is a huge problem for men being able to bond with their children and transition into fatherhood. Plus, it burdens mothers with childcare. Better paternity leave would be better for everyone. Deloitte UK are an example of one business leading the way with equal paid parenting leave. I’ve no doubt this is a smart move that will incentivise high performing men who value family. The Dad Shift are the leading campaigning organisation in this mission. You can join their first Dad Strike which is coming up.
  
  I love to see men campaigning and organising in this way. Paternity leave is a very obvious example of where men can speak up for their wants and needs. Someone once commented on a post I wrote about men campaigning for men’s right saying: “Surely you didn’t mean to say ‘men’s rights?’” I wanted to laugh and cry, this person simply did not understand that a man might have something to complain or feel strongly about.

Dad Shift's Two Week's Isn't Enough Campaign

• A growing movement of men’s therapists, coaches and facilitators. In the last three weeks I’ve had the please of talking with many men active in “men’s work” or the “men’s space”. “Men’s work” I’ve realised is a thing in itself. It seems to be the work of working with men, one to one, or in groups, or circles. There’s a real dearth of men in coaching and therapy. The men I’ve spoken with who are therapists, coaches or other practitioners are always in the minority in their profession. On a typical therapy training course they could be the only man in the room and the percentage of men across the different modalities seems to go from 10%-30%.
  
  The good news is that these men exist in the therapeutic spaces. Their insight is going to be absolutely vital in creating therapy and coaching interventions that work for men and meet men’s needs. Men’s complexities must be reflected in how the products of coaching or therapy meet men where they are. This community of men’s practitioners is small, but growing and I believe their impact over the next 3 years will be pivotal in how we shape men’s support.
  
  The impending launch of Men’s Therapy Hub by Chris Hemmings, is an example of what’s needed. Therapy for men, by men. Until there are more male therapists and coaches designing therapy and coaching services for men, I can’t imagine there will be more men using these services. We’re right at the start, but a start has been made.

Is mentorship more important than therapy for men?

I’m reading Iron John at the moment. It’s still the only text of note that anyone with expertise within men and masculinity seems to recommend to me. A consistent theme in the book is mentorship, the author Robert Bly often points to men needing a mentor to help initiate them into manhood. We hear about lack of role models. A good mentor is usually a good role model.

Men are less likely to take up talking therapy. I wonder, do more men need mentorship than they do therapy? Someone to guide and show them the way, rather than do the interior soul work? I’m not downplaying the impact of therapy. I’ve spent many years in therapy and the therapist I chose was a man. But, I look back and part of the appeal was that he was a man I could look up to in some way. The therapy itself was valuable, but I wonder how much of the lack in support for men is in guidance, just as it might be in emotional support? I get the feeling that mentoring from men towards younger men, either at work or in community, could be something extremely fruitful that many men need - no matter what stage of life they might be in.

Events

• Men’s Workplace Advocates Group (EMAIL FOR INVITE)
  02/06, 6pm - 7pm. Online.
  Gathering men that are leading their men's network at work. Or, those who would like to get started.

• Good Men Event
  11/06, 6pm - 9pm. East London.
  A gathering of all the good men supporting other men.

• JACK talks Hair Loss
  18/06, 6pm - 9pm, Shoreditch, London.
  A safe space for men to discuss their hair loss journey with a group of like-minded men. There are no events like this one.

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Be the first to join our community of good men on discord.

I’m looking for the first 10 men to join our discord chat. I believe an online community space could be really valuable for this global community of good men. But, I want to get it right. Initially I’m looking for another 8 men to join the group, begin connecting, sharing resources and supporting one another. From there we can see what good men want and need from this community and from each other. Respond on email for the invite link and let’s make it happen.

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