Bringing a new version of masculinity to the stage.

Spending time with the Met Police at their Wellbeing Summit.

Last week I spent some time with the Metropolitan Police’s Specialist Crimes Unit, at their Wellbeing Summit.

I was honoured to have been asked to fill one of the segments and give a talk on my story, what led me to writing my book, and why so many men struggle to ask for help.

I’ve got to be honest, I was absolutely bricking it, for a few reasons.

One was more personal - simply that I hadn’t done any real public speaking in years, pre-COVID. I’ve done a couple of best man speeches since, but I had the safety blanket of notes in front of me and a couple of beers down me for those 😂

I think is something many people can relate to, as anxiety seems to have risen since COVID. All that time locked in doors, constantly being told the outside world wasn’t safe, and moving our work from in-person to screens…it’s definitely made me feel a little more anxious in social situations. Not in a debilitating way, but I’ve just noticed I’m more conscious of what I say and do these days.

So there was that.

But then there was also the nature of what I was bringing.

“Why do so many men struggle to ask for help?”

When I’m asked this question, I have no problem answering it.

But again, I’m conscious of how it lands. It’s a big question to answer. Particularly when there are men who, whether through ego, ignorance or disagreement, take any answer to this question to be a bit of a criticism to a way of life they’ve always known.

To say that men struggle to ask for help is to admit that they need to ask for it in the first place.

And a lot of men don’t like the idea of that.

So whenever I write a LinkedIn post, do a podcast, or go to an event, I always wonder what percentage of the room will read or listen to me and think “what a load of old nonsense.”

And then finally, it was the nature of the crowd.

The police.

And the Specialist Crimes unit at that.

These are people who are dealing with some of the toughest, hardest things every single day, exposed regularly to so much first and second degree trauma.

One of the stats that stuck with me from the day was that while civilians may be exposed to around 2-4 traumas in their lifetime, a police officer may be exposed to as many as 600.

It shows the weight of what they have to carry.

So I wondered whether what I was bringing was enough.

Little old me getting up there talking about a time I struggled with my mental health.

Of course, looking at this objectively, I know it’s important. But the worry was there.

I walked up to the stage to clapping, grabbed hold of the microphone and bloody hell, my hand was shaking like a cat on a hot tin roof. But I knew that was more just the body doing its thing, because once I started talking, the words flowed out no problem.

I talked about my story and how I almost took my own life.

Why we need to have better conversations on things like hair loss and erectile dysfunction.

And why an outdated version of masculinity is stopping so many men from talking.

The response after was amazing. Smiles, claps, hugs, even some tears. Darren Stokes - the legend who organised the event - had very kindly nabbed a copy of my book for everyone in the audience, and it was so nice to have a queue of people wanting to talk about it and get it signed, after we took this wicked photo below.

I think I left and smiled the whole way home.

It reminded me of what I wish my anxiety could have known before I’d entered that room - it doesn’t matter what uniform people wear, or what walk of life people are from…these are messages that we all need to hear.

Men are struggling. Men want to open up more. Men want to have better conversations about men.

They’re often just looking for someone to start them.

Thank you so much to the Met Police for having me, it was unreal, and lit a new fire in his space for me.

More to come!

George x